Lem and I finally made it to see Crank.

Even with it’s psuedo-gore and all the hand decapitations, I would still rate this as one of the best chick flicks I have ever seen. How could you not? When the story revolves around a professional hitman who is trying to quit his dayjob. To come clean for his girlfriend. I even cried at the very end when Chelios (Jason Stantham) fell off the helicopter and while plummeting down still managed to dial his girlfriend’s answering machine to let her know that he’s let her down.

If you have a beef about racial stereotypes then Crank is not the movie for you. I counted three white folks in the whole movie – Chelios, Eve (Amy Smart) and Doc Miles (Dwight Yoakam). Of course, that’s not counting the topless eye candy, the hospital workers and the coffee drinkers that swarmed on the Al-Quaeda cab driver.

The mafia was hispanic.
The asians were coming to take over.
The black dudes were dealers.
The cab drivers were Chinese, Jamaican, and Middle Eastern.
The massage girls were asian.

Wait until you watch it and find out that the writers have managed to fill 87 minutes of the most cliche scenes. Nothing was missed out. Nothing was too taboo. Nothing was off limits. You know they hit the end of the road when they bought into Red Bull’s gorilla marketing campaign.

Crank is definitely Razzie Worthy.

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